


Rainbow

by ZenaH



Category: Original - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21832807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZenaH/pseuds/ZenaH
Summary: Original short story：It must be autumn now, but the consistent weather in California mislead people to believe that it is still summer in July or August. Only the constant drizzle reminds me that, it has been the harvest season, the second year that I ran away from home without permission……





	Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

> It doesn’t matter you read these lines’ words about myself. I didn’t write it for a long time, maybe just a month. It once was a task for my literature class. However, when I tried to improve my story, to let it more realistic, I found out that I started to love this mission. Although it took me a lot of time to search the background of the time my story happen and I wrote it on school bus, on the class and even when I an sleeping, I still enjoyed it.  
> Thus, if you can, please enjoy it as well. 
> 
> ——  
> the story background is about 1970s, just happened before the reasonability of homosexuality.

It must be autumn now, but the consistent weather in California mislead people to believe that it is still summer in July or August. Only the constant drizzle reminds me that, it has been the harvest season, the second year that I ran away from home without permission. The sky is dusky, just like it is covered by something, that really makes me suffocate. It costs one hour-long to travel from west to the east of the boundary of the city. Me and Tethys left for our trip at about two o’clock in the afternoon, in order to catch up with a burial at 4p.m., the burial of my father and mother.  
There isn’t much transportation on the highway, maybe because today is still the work day. With my hands on the wheel, when this old second-hand hand-lined car takes a turn to the right，I speed up without any hesitation. We didn't have enough money to buy a self-exhaust car with good performance. Tethys still says nothing, she just opens the window and let the cool wind blows into the car with several droplets of water. Her long and blond hair is flying about. She is used to my behavior that tests the limits of traffic laws. “Be careful, Sharts.” This is the only sentence she will say when she sits on the co-pilot position. Tethys always likes to call me “Sharts”, instead of “Sharson.” This scene lasts for a long time, I love the way Tethys looks so much. I seems couldn't imagine how can I deal with the people who will be buried, my parents. Yesterday, I suddenly received a letter from my hometown. It said the sad news about my parents. At first, I thought it was just a wicked mischief. As soon as I noticed there was also an invatation of the funeral in the packet, I realized it was the truth, an extremely horrible truth.  
“Tesi, I‘m afraid I……”  
“Just be careful, my girl.” She repeats again, and puts her right hand quietly on my leg. She absolutely knows what I am thinking about. I have thought it since I left home. Is that the perfectly correct choice for me and my parents? It gradually became my nightmare, even Tethys, the most patient person in the world, felt angry after I became neurotic about this for a whole week. I can still remember how emotional she was that day. She stretched my arms tightly, speaking quickly and telling me things had already passed and it couldn’t change any more. It was me who decided to follow instead of staying in the town. I know everything clearly, I just couldn’t forgive myself. That’s stiff. The car already drives into the town which locates in the east of the city. This is the termination, also my hometown. Just as the city, there is only a few people on the street.  
I didn’t choose to drive directly to my old home, instead of this, I drove straight towards the place that the funeral was held in. It’s next to the only church in my town. There are already a few people gathering there, many of them are acquaintances. Even as two years’ time has passed, I could speak out their name accurately as before. Noticing that there is still adequate time before the beginning of the burial, I continue to drive instead of stopping on the wayside. “What’s the matter, Sharts?” Tethys realized we are passing the church. “I did it reflexively,” I mutter with a sigh,“Something bad will happen.”  
My prediction is right. We haven’t left even for a hundred meters, a figure stands right on the road which my car is driving. I had to stop my car suddenly. Didn’t this guy know what he did is dangerous? My eyebrows twist together and I tend want to rush out of the car and give him a punch. However, I am pressed down by Tethys and her momentum, even I am higher than her. “Again. Just get ahold of yourself.” She says this to me and goes out to face the “barrier” at the same time. What I can only do is to put down the window of car and listen to what's happening. I fuzzily heard they talk about something like“volunteer”and “finally she comes”, it seems that I know who is the obstacle there. When Tethys returns, she still has her classical smile on her face, but her eyes aren’t brighter than normal, it’s kind of sadness. “He isn’t a bad guy, and he seems have something to talk to you.” She says in flat tone, neither happy nor sad.  
“It must be Andrew. Damn it.”  
“You know him?”  
“You had better believe it.” I shrug and slam the car door vigorously.  
More than an acquaintance, me and Andrew were inseparable friends. However, it is already the past tense. Now I hate him as much as I liked him in the past. He didn’t adhere to the promise between us. Two years ago, that was the time Tethys reached our town as a volunteer in order to help the development. The place I first time saw her was in the library, at that time she was reading a book about Public Relations, I remember it clearly. I was ordered to replace the former librarian by my parents. I observed her for a long time and she spent a whole day there to study only one book. At that day, her look of serious reading attracted me deeply. After that, she always appeared in that section of the library and she only read one book everyday, no matter whether it was thick or thin. During those six days, I felt that the feelings I had were different when I saw Tethys and Andrew and other girls. At the seventh day, Andrew came and asked me to play soccer with him. Absolutely, I went out with him because that day library was close. During the rest of the game, I told my feelings to Andrew completely. He didn’t say anything useful to solve my situation, he just opened his mouth quite big and made his round eyes to stare at me. I noticed that after talking to him, Andrew looked like another person, not Andrew. That was weird, but I didn’t care about that very much. I always think he is a boy with little consciousness. On the next day, the mayor, Mr Gabriel gathered everyone in the town, he said we would going to thank a group of people who voluntarily organized to improve the town. I saw the girl that I interested in a lot was among these people. I suddenly turned disappointed when I heard that volunteers would return to the city tonight.  
After the people scattered, the girl found me. She was more beautiful than I thought she was. She had a long, blonde hair which was almost reached her waist and her blue eyes were as clean as the ocean. It was awesome. My heart even beat more quickly than normal. She led me to an alley and asked in a quiet voice,“Your name is Sharson, right? And I am Tethys.”  
“Why do you know me?”  
“First you tell me why you always look at me, little girl?”  
I couldn’t tell her. What should I tell her? I adored her? That doesn’t make sense that I suddenly fell in love with her in only seven days. However, her blue eyes still looked at me. Although she smiled in a gentle way, I thought she wouldn’t let me go until I told the truth. For a while, I said “I don’t know. I can’t help and...when I watched at you. I felt strange.”  
“So?” She still questioned closely. Gosh, why was she in that hot pursuit? I felt a little nervous.  
“May..maybe I liked you...”  
“I love you,too.” Tethys laughed quietly and quickly, just like she achieved some purpose. Then, she moved nearer to me and her mouth touched my forehead. Even though it was only a short time, I almost felt my face was burning hot!  
At that time, I didn’t realize that the nightmare gradually occurred. When I came back home, I found out my parents sat in the living room with anxiety. What’s going on? I wondered. Just then, I noticed a huge number of people assembled in front of our house. They all hung a lamp on their hands. Mother asked me whether I had a mental disease and hid it. All the people started to discuss, I clearly knew they were talking about me. I was completely out of the situation, everything happened too rapidly. The voice of discussion became louder and louder. I even heard a little kid used his pointed voice called me monster. Why I am the monster? All the adults and children made disgust faces at me. I realized they were talking about I fell in love with a girl. All of them were a few meters away from me. They saw me just like I was a communicable virus, the one could infect others immediately. I felt there were butterfllies flying in my stomach. I turned round to seek help from my parents. However, they just sat there silently, watching me suffered the spurn from others. No one can help me, only myself. Having such ideas, I rushed through crowd and all the way ran down the road. I was extremely rational at that time. I decided to follow Tethys to go to the big city. It was enough to bear the pressure from the acquaintances, friends and parents. The place where I went would contain my own longing about my love and the future. At that night, I pulled my suitcase with the volunteers and Tethys towards the bus. As I tended to step into the bus, I heard a sentence. “I told them your situation..” This voice was too familiar to me, that I shouted loudly with unreasonable anger.  
“Andrew! You broke the promise!”  
“You must remember, you betrayed me. You knew it was a secret. You were my best friend, so I told you.” Facing Andrew, memories all come out and strike me again and again. Although it passes years, Andrew doesn’t seem to regret this thing, He stands there and smiles sneeringly. What I can only see in his eyes, is the irony. His eyes are so dark, every emotion seems to be engulfed. Andrew looked at me up and down, then he says, “You have changed a lot, right? Indeed, I can’t recognize you quickly, the big city changes you, huh? You haven’t returned back home for nearly two years, I even think you cut your relationship with your parents. You were so obedient to your parents, weren’t you?”  
In fact, I change a lot, that’s right. My short, little curly brown hair become long and have big waves now. I permed it when I live in the city. My clothes become more modern as well, I always pay attention to my appearance whether it is tidy and appropriate or not. Andrew doesn’t change a lot, but he looks more mature and blacker than before. I first thought he will do everythings after considering. However, his questions show he is still a youngster, although he is nearly 20, as old as Tethys. It’s a truth I always obey the request of elders, not only my parents but also everybody who is older and smarter than me, and the decision to leave the town is the only thing do I go to against my parents. The different sexual orientations causes different opinions. Just because of the homosexuality, people in the town put all their anger and disgust on me, they don’t care how much honor you had before. I couldn’t understand the reason in the past, at present, I still can’t.  
“I always love my parents deeply, at any time. Don’t try to suspect the relationship in my family.” then I make a pause. I don’t know whether they loved me or not, because when I was scolded by residents, they didn’t desire to help me, they just looked at me anxiously and concernedly. I have a strong will to rebuke him about what he did before, but everything had passed, nothing could change now. I realized it clearly before Tethys told me, but self-contradiction continues to affect me and let me can’t make a choice directly. “If it isn’t Tethys, I will definitely beat the tar out of you.” I check my watch, it’s nearly the time. Therefore I turn around and go back into the car. “It’s half past three now. Move your way and go back to church, please.” Andrew must be extremely surprise, since I never say the word “please” to him. This is the first time. Actually, I don’t care about his real emotion at all. When I return to the car and turn it around, Tethys slowly starts to speak, her voice has a kind of hesitation in it, “Sharts...I don’t know if I told you what I know is good for you, but I clearly know I couldn’t hide the reality.” She breaks a few seconds, then continues, “Andrew said to me he used to love you and think you like him, too, so when he heard of the news about you, he said he couldn’t help to suspect you were ill. It’s kind of common suspect, you know, at that time there are few homosexuals. He told your situation to adults, that’s why cause the ‘Witch trials’. He said he felt regret to what he did before.”  
My ears hear every words, nevertheless, they don’t move me. “Regret is useless. Indeed, I can forgive some one easily, but the condition is I need his apology,”  
It’s a quarter to four, we arrive at the church. I had attend in several burials when I was young, usually I think the burial is boring. As soon as I saw the most familiar neighbour in my memory who stays beside two dark brown coffins, I rapidly stuck into my own sorrow. According to the tradition, after a person dies, his family and friends will spend much time to stay next to the bier, which called ‘funeral wakes’. It is not only a traditional custom, but also the symbol of respect to the dead. However...I get the news about the accidental death of my parents just one day before the funeral. I should be responsible to them, but I didn’t do that. Everything seems to be silent in a flash, I can’t hear the chat from others, the sound of the wind and the footstep. Everything becomes faint. Then I feel a hand laid on my shoulder, it is Tethys. Her long blonde hair has already been put up and her blue eyes returned to normal, with a bit of sadness. The clock rings for four times, then the burial starts.  
Every step is in good order, the whole church is in a strange silence, except the voice of the priest and Mr Gabriel. Time moves slowly and quickly. The funeral is at the last step. The priest is still reading from his hand-card, “The last step in the church, on the basis of the tradition, is to put the crosses on the chest of the dead. According to the last words of Mr and Mrs.Sanchez, they would like a specific person to do this holy action. Let’s welcome Shar...Shar...”  
Everyone suddenly crushes into an uproar, they seems they have heard the wrong words. The funniest thing is this compere can’t read my name correctly, me and Tethys all can’t help but to laugh. I also see Mr Gabriel trying not to giggle. “It’s Sharson, Sharson Sanchez.” I always be proud of this family name, because it means hallowed. I stand up among the confusion and discussion from others. Whether my parents forgave me or not, they still remember me. A low voice in my head says this. Not like the Sharson two years ago , I don’t feel extremely frightened about the rumors, although I am self-contradictory and awkward as usual. I make myself stay calm and walk towards the coffins slowly. Standing beside the mayor, I put one on my mother and the other on my father, their eyes close softly, just like they are sleeping. In fact, they wouldn’t wake up any more. Sorrow wells up in my heart, I try to not cry when facing so much people, then I walk straight back to my seat. All of a sudden, I couldn’t hear any sound. Tethys speaks later to me, when I go back to my seat, I turn to be a kind of heartless. It is unexpected that I am nearly smiling instead of feeling sad and regretful. What I only felt is that I am super calm at that time. Also, I don’t hear Mr Gabreil says sorry about the matter two years ago.  
That’s why when me and Tethys are going to leave the church, Mr Gabriel stops me and says to me as an elder, “Don’t be too depressive about the death, time heals the hurt, right?” I have a glimpse at him because I am pretty much taller than him. This old man is nearly 70 years old, but he looks like only over 50. “Time doesn’t heal all the hurt, you probably know that clearly, Mr.Gabriel.” I nod my head as respect and get into the car. Tethys is already in the car, she is looking at a book and feels quite relaxed. I bend above and try to know what she is reading about, but she prevents me to do so and reminds me that there is another important purpose of this trip.  
Depend on my memory, I drive directly to the house, where I have left for two years. It’s appearance doesn’t change a lot, in front of the house, different types of flowers are grown in great order. Mom must spent a lot of time to take care of them. Standing outside the house, I remember the peaceful and graceful daily life around the house. I even remember which part of the wall is painted by me, which part of the tile is laid by me. Everything is fresh. All of this is secondary, what I have to do now is make the decision about the arrangement of the heritages. Let them decay and throw all things into the garbage bins, otherwise, facing all the memories and picking out things have previous value. It’s actually a hard task for me. I feel afraid of facing the truth, even though I am interested on it. If I discover the unfortunate and any concern just like two years ago, I promise I can’t stay at this place for one second. It’s awkward for me. I’m curious about the truth, and I’m afraid of the truth. Just when I start to steep into deep entanglement, I find out that Tethys hold my hands tightly. I realized I have had my bad habits again. When I can’t decide and finish the mission appropriately, I can’t help to bite me fingers. As long as Tethys comes to hold my hands, I know I tend to bite the fingers again. “I know you know your answers clearly, Sharts. Just do it.” She kisses me on my cheek and give me a smile within confidence, I am almost moved by her, it’s rare, “You are always the best, you’re brave all the time. You’re not only the star for me, but also your own sunlight.”  
I am my own sunlight? That’s a strange metaphor, but it’s useful.  
Absolutely, I just don’t want to accept my decision in my deep thought.  
I kiss back and walk straight towards the front door and open it with the key, behind me, Tethys giggles and says, “Your eyes are beautiful, Sharts.”  
“Your blue eyes are the miracles, Tesi.”  
Standing in the corridor, I realize the structure of the house doesn’t change at all, all of them are familiar. The atmosphere smells kind of sweet, it’s the smell of sypress. I carry three paper boxes with me in order to packet things I want to leave. I listed all the necessary things in a booklet yesterday. Tethys didn’t join me to help, she thought these things should face by myself. If most of the things is in its old location, maybe I can collect them as quick as possible. We don’t have enough time, now, our plan is to go home tonight. I first step into the living room, always the records in our home are displayed in our living room, everyone’s rewards in our family. The most important one, also my aim, is a well-preserved article. It’s belong to my father. He won this prize and his article was published in one newspaper. My father, Mr.Sanchez, is an amateur journalist, although his main career is a merchant. With other family photos, these things are put into the first paper boxes. Then I go through other sections, parent’s bedroom, kitchen, yard and study. In the study, I can’t what I want to get. Finally, I step into my own room. It doesn’t change as well, it just like my parents do it on purpose. It’s like they directly know I’ll back home at some time. There is a little dust on my desk, obviously it hasn’t been clean for several days. My various books all lay on my desk and my bookshelf silently. I love reading books since I was small, sometimes I even make some notes on it. They are all my wealth, so I put as many books as possible into the boxes. When I move those books one by one, I find out there’s a booklet that doesn’t belong to me, so I arrange it nearby.  
After finishing tidy everything up, I finally notice the booklet again. The cover is quite old, paper in it is already yellow. I flip the booklet quickly, the words are written by hand, and the handwriting is quite familiar. When I see the name of my mom on one of the pages, I realize this is a notebook which belongs to my mother. I open the first page, on this page, it writes seriously. “If your see this notebook, me and Carlos should have already been dead for several days. I’m so delightedl that you choose to return here. You must through a lot of difficulties in order to achieve here. You’re sometimes hesitating but smart enough to solve the questions.” And the time was signed two years ago, the day after I left home.Before I open the next page, I pause. I don’t know what content will appear on next page. Is it the complaints from mother? I have a will to close it, but if I don’t read up all the content, how can I understand my parents? Then this trip back to home is just waste of time. Entangling for minutes, I finally choose to continue reading. It’s the first day Sharson leaves home. What happened on that day struck me and Carlos a lot, our only child ran away from home because of the accusement from residents. However, we couldn’t do anything. That’s strange, when I was chased by people, they didn’t protect me by using the words, also the action. I don’t understand their purpose, that’s why I couldn’t face them bravely. There’s a gully between me and my parents. Today, Gabriel invited us for you again, he said he was trying his best to find you in the city with the help of his friends. However, me and Carlos understand you wouldn’t be found, unless you wanted to. It’s unbelievable that Mr Gabriel had helped my parents finding where I was. During that time, I had a hard time to be accustomed about the lifestyle in city. I recalled that the day I was in trouble, Mr. Gabriel, the mayor stood behind the angry people. He was calm, maybe because he was old and he had seen so much odd things in his life. Probably, I misunderstood him at church, I thought he was laughing at me in another way. Andrew’s parents came to our house and asked the situation about you. Although I am still concerning about why you didn’t tell the truth of your sexual orientation, I promise you live happily with your lover and learn about the city rapidly. I think it’s the best choice for you to go to the city, as well as Carlos. If you still stay in the town, you must suffer more and more abuse. In those words, I discover what was the true meaning of the action of my parents. They think my better way to live is to change the living place from town to the city. They absolutely know I wouldn’t leave them except they use some radical method. That’s why they sat and looked at me as I gradually get into trouble. As parents, they know about my personality so much, so they can control subtly my mind by various actions. However, I didn’t understand their goal two years ago, I purely thought they didn’t love me, and this idea accompanied with me for almost two years. Looking at one diary after another, I don’t know how to express my emotion. Scolding myself silly because of speculation parents thoughts and lead to the existence of the ditch, or praise them for their smart statics. However, I relieve, I clearly feel that. You had started a new life, so continue and enjoy it. We are always stay with you.  
I carry all the things out home and meet Tethys, she is still reading the books, but it’s nearly over. She looks up at me and makes a smile, “So I guess you have solved the question right? You cried a lot.” Her fingers fondle the trace of tears on my face. I just notice I was crying while I was reading the diaries. “The question solved, but we still face one. It must use a long time to solve.” We couldn’t get a send-off from the residents, we have to leave carefully from here, because of the stereotyped image of homosexuality.  
We wait for the time, waiting for the sharp eight o’clock. When the clock strikes for eight times, Mr. Gabriel slowly appears in my sight. Why does he come? Mr. Gabriel stands in front of me, there is a piece of newspaper holding in one of his hands. I took the newspaper. Below the headline, there is a line of words. Today, the American Center of Mental Health officially depathologizes homosexuality. Me and Tethys all take a deep breath, then we look at each other. “It’s kind of miracle for you two , right?” Mr. Gabriel grins on the crutches, and continues, “Almost everyone have this latest newspaper, just one hour ago.”  
He gives us a sign to get in our car. As we slowly drive out the town, we find that every house points on the light. It lights up the road. Residents in the town stands in front of their houses. Some of them put their heads out of windows. I clearly know that’s not all of them. The news spreads quickly, but people can’t accept a sudden change as quickly as the news does.  
Yellow lights from the lamps of the houses light all the way. Although they are in the same color, it seems turn into different ones. Then it create the rainbow, existed in everyone’s heart.


End file.
